Wednesday, August 15, 2007

What kind of friend do you want?

Everyone wants to be liked. Everyone wants to have friends, but at what cost?

Whenever a situation arises when I question a friendship I've made I think of the following:

1. Do I want a friend who tells me the truth?

I absolutely want a friend who will tell me the truth. No question about it. Someone who is thought provoking and even challenging at times is a friend worth keeping.

2. Do I want a friend who tells me what I want to hear?

No. If you tell me that I've lost weight when in fact I know I've gained weight, or that my knee socks and clogs look nice, get going.

3. Do I want my friend to lie to me?

Never, especially if my daughter is involved.

Someone who I consider a real friend lied to me instead of telling me the truth. Maybe they lied to me to spare my feelings, or my daughter's feelings, but nonetheless it was a lie.

Single-parenting even on a temporary basis is not easy, especially in a foreign country. These past months have taught me a lot about who I consider my real friends.

My definition of a friend is:

1. Someone who will help out without wanting anything in return.
2. Someone who calls just to say hello.
3. Someone who offers constructive criticism.
4. Someone who shows compassion.
5. Someone who tells the truth.
6. Someone who accepts me as I am.

Ma'salaam,

~Marian

3 comments:

Layla said...

Marian - I am so sorry about what happened. It is so hard to find good friends, even more when you are in a different country than your own and you just want to have nice, normal, English speaking friends. I can soooo relate to this.

Anyways, I hope all is well with you and Mira now. I know single parenting is hard and has it's ups and downs. But you are a very strong person. You will get through this. Chin up sweetie :)

Love and Hugs to you and Mira!!

nuh ibn zbigniew gondek said...

As salaam alaikum.

Just surfing through.

You ask some very good questions and have some well thought out answers -- remember Allahu alam.

Ma'as salaama,
nuh ibn

Nora said...

Hey Marian,
Sorry to hear about that. is everything ok? Is Mira ok?

Well.. for the sake of being honest... I need to tell you that I think you are a mozza! :o)

I know nothing about how to be a single parent, but I know enough to know a great single parent when I see one.
You are a great mom and you do the single parent thing like a pro. Hopefully I will be back in Egypt and back to kidnapping your daughter!
Hope all is well....