I just about had a breakdown the other day - OK, I did have a breakdown the other day. All vacation I asked Mira "Do you have any homework. Do you have math homework?" I cannot tell you how many times I asked her this question. Her answer was always evasive: "I don't think so. I don't have homework. I have Egyptian social studies." OK, so I trusted her without looking in her books. WRONG!!!
When I returned to school her teacher told me that Mira was in serious trouble with math because: 1) she hasn't been doing her homework and 2) she doesn't understand subtraction and borrowing from 3 and 4-digit numbers. I freaked out.
It was decided that if she didn't catch up with her homework and understand subtraction she would not go the US with me. She would stay with Aunt Olfat and I would go alone.
So Mira stayed after school several days with her teacher to have the math explained to her. She was miserable. She cried and threw a fit. You would think she was 3 years old all over again. As I always did, I ignored her. When Mira throws a fit, I ignore her. When she was 2 and threw a fit and was on the floor, I'd step over her saying "Let me know when you're finished." I have always dealt with fits very well, however, she couldn't really talk back. Now it's quite different. She came into the car and said "I'm not going to school tomorrow. I refuse to go to school tomorrow. Ms. Nora is not the boss of me." Well, at that point I let her have it.
We spent 6-7 hours on math homework the other night. We have been working on it quite diligently to make sure she understands the subtraction. Because I actually sat down with her and wrote out every problem, and she actually solved every problem, she understood it. She just didn't want to do it alone. I think she looks at the pages of homework and finds it quite overwhelming. I told her if she did her homework every night like she was supposed to she would not have the overwhelming feeling that she has now.
So I spoke with Mira's teacher yesterday and told her what we did. By the end of the day I asked her teacher how Mira did with math. Mira's teacher said she was actually impressed that Mira understood the math. She said I was the only parent that sits with my child to do their homework. I told her it's my responsibility as a parent to make sure my child understands her schoolwork, not just because I work at the school.
I don't know where she gets this behavior from. I was the perfect student - yeah, right. Now I see it from the other side. Ah, parenting. . . it keeps changing. If I have the cahunas to deal with this effectively, the next stage won't be as challening; or will it . . .