Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Sometimes it's ok to be sick

I think being sick is a sign of weakness. I haven't been sick in four years and all of a sudden, bam! I returned to work 1 1 2/ months ago and here I have been sick for two days with the flu. I hate this; why me, why now? I'm not particularly stressed more than usual. Although I have to admit I have many things on my mind - but who doesn't.

Mira is doing extremely well at school this year, El 7amdolelah (thank God). I went back to work after being home for one year. And while I really enjoy working - I am having second thoughts for different reasons I cannot elaborate on right now. It remains to be seen if I make it through the entire school year; and after telling a friend of mine in an email not to be hasty in decision making it turns out that perhaps I have been hasty myself.

I have friends who are going through their own challenges and while I want to help all of them it seems as though I am limited in what I can do - except listen and support them. While I support them by listening to them, I am honest with them, because in the end I would appreciate any friend of mine being honest with me.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the US and I am homesick as hell this year. I can't figure out why this year in particular. If there is one holiday I love the most it's American Thanksgiving. The food, the frangrances of the house, the fire, the families getting together. All of it. The good and the challenging.

So yes I have my own stressors that mostly likely contributed to making me sick; some good and some bad. I have to realize that there is only so much I can do about everything. I have to let go of the rest and realize it's out of my hands. I thought by now I would understand - but I like to hold onto everything and control every outcome in my life.




April said...

Marian!!!!!! Oh I miss you so.....hope you are feeling better. I am glad to hear Mira is doing so well in her schooling!!! I wish I could be there for you....ya know we all have our problems but sometimes it helps us work through them by the similarity of the some of the issues we have, that is why groups like WOE work out so well, support each other through those tough times. Even if we don't need to disclose all of the details knowing you have someone to turn to sometimes is just enough to help, I know that being there for me is priceless to me....

On the Thanksgiving note, I will have a extra slice of pumpkin pie, and take a deep breath of that crisp PA air for you, as long as you keep that hot water boiling for me for my return to Egypt and our cup of tea to share over a lazy day with no dead lines or due dates!!! I Love you sister, take care......

Marian said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you too April! Ah you know me so well. Sobhan'Allah! Yes I will keep the water boiling so we can enjoy tea together without any deadlines. You made my day 7abibty!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey, I hope you are feeling better, I miss you and I actually thought of you when eating the turkey... lol. I start work tomorrow, and have class too, so for the next two weeks 18 hour days on Monday and Weds. I will email you when the week has finished and let you know how it went. Give Mira a hug and let me know how YOU are doing. xoxoxo Karen

Layla/Colls said...

I hope you are feeling better :) And that is great that you are back to working. I know how that is about working or not in Egypt. I would love to go back to teaching. Looks like in a few years I might get my wish ;)

Just want to say that even though you are there and I am here, I know I have your support in anything. :) And you know you have my back on whatever you do. That is what friends are for!!! :D

I think why we get homesick is that maybe it's that one holiday where we just come together as a family and being together without any religion in the background. I got that way too. I missed it more than Christmas.

Just do what you can. The rest of it, leave it up to God. Things will fall into play. And I am always here for ya whenever you need me.

Love ya!!!

Marian said...

Karen, I hope everything is going well. Work, um, well we do the best we can - don't we and sometimes realize that what we thought was soooo bad before really wasn't so bad after all. I hope ur studies continue to go well -- please let me know when the scarves arrive. I hope u like them...I'll work on the nightgowns next....xoxo marian

Layla/Colleen - Thanks for supporting me all these years. I can't believe we have known each other 4 years now Sobhan'Allah! Where does the time go? Insha'Allah everything will work out for you and Zane. I try to keep up w/ u on your blog and feel as though I am right there with you going through everything good and bad.....I'm here for u too. Love.

gwendolen said...

HI there! I´m a swedish young woman who just found your lovely blog. My husband is egyptian so we´re living in luxor from time to time. Hurghada as well. I´m planning to follow your blog, its really too few who blogs from egypt. I´m a convert of Islam too and I am blogging myself about egypt and islam etc. But.. mostly in swedish though. I hope that you had a joyful eid al adha sister! Salam, mikaela

Hajar said...

Salams! I hope you're better. I hope you found something to fill the void of missing out on the traditional Thanksgiving holiday.