Sometimes it's ok to be sick

I think being sick is a sign of weakness. I haven't been sick in four years and all of a sudden, bam! I returned to work 1 1 2/ months ago and here I have been sick for two days with the flu. I hate this; why me, why now? I'm not particularly stressed more than usual. Although I have to admit I have many things on my mind - but who doesn't.

Mira is doing extremely well at school this year, El 7amdolelah (thank God). I went back to work after being home for one year. And while I really enjoy working - I am having second thoughts for different reasons I cannot elaborate on right now. It remains to be seen if I make it through the entire school year; and after telling a friend of mine in an email not to be hasty in decision making it turns out that perhaps I have been hasty myself.

I have friends who are going through their own challenges and while I want to help all of them it seems as though I am limited in what I can do - except listen and support them. While I support them by listening to them, I am honest with them, because in the end I would appreciate any friend of mine being honest with me.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the US and I am homesick as hell this year. I can't figure out why this year in particular. If there is one holiday I love the most it's American Thanksgiving. The food, the frangrances of the house, the fire, the families getting together. All of it. The good and the challenging.

So yes I have my own stressors that mostly likely contributed to making me sick; some good and some bad. I have to realize that there is only so much I can do about everything. I have to let go of the rest and realize it's out of my hands. I thought by now I would understand - but I like to hold onto everything and control every outcome in my life.

Ma'salaam,

~Marian